Welcome to another day the Lord has made that we should rejoice and be glad in. (Psalms 118:24)

Let’s FOCUS on our conversation skills today.

Today’s scripture, James 1:19-20 (NIV) says…
[19] My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [20] because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Consider…
The Philosopher Epictetus famously said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Not only is that good advice to live by, it aligns with the wisdom from today’s scripture.

Paraphrasing today’s passage, God is telling us that we should listen more and speak less. Indeed, we should be more generous in our listening and more careful in our speaking.

It’s interesting that James didn’t stop with telling us to retard our speaking. Notice the conjunction ‘and’ is used to signify the next statement is part of an all-inclusive expectation. James is saying that as believers, we must…

• listen intently,
• speak appropriately, AND
• control our emotions.

I like the Apostle Paul’s similar advice in Colossians 4:6 (ERV), which is…
[6] When you talk, you should always be kind and wise. Then you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.

How many of us pause to think about answering the way we should? Well, it’s impossible to answer appropriately if you haven’t listened intently.

Perhaps the issue is that we are so obsessed with being heard and understood that we’re unwilling to hear and understand.

James 4:1 (NIV) asks…
[1] What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?

The Holy Spirit is telling us to stop focusing on what we want, and obey what God wants, which according to Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) is…
[3] Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, [4] not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Those verses underscore today’s exhortations to…

• Listen quickly
• Speak slowly
• Behave calmly

When the Holy Spirit gave me today’s focus, He guided me to see there’s a difference between conversation and communication. A Google search yielded…
The aim of communication is to convey a message. The aim of conversation is to have a discussion.

After reading that differentiation, it occurred to me that we don’t just focus on communicating with others, we do the same with God. How often do we go to the Lord with our agenda?

Yet, Jesus told us in John 12:49-50 (NLT)…
[49] I don’t speak on my own authority. The Father who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it. [50] And I know his commands lead to eternal life; so I say whatever the Father tells me to say.”

How different, and life giving, would our conversations be if we only said what our Father told us to say.

The Holy Spirit further reiterated this listening before speaking expectation with Jesus’ words in John 16:13 (NIV)…
[13] But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

Notice the Holy Spirit only speaks what He hears, and He’s the one who God sent to guide us.

It just clicked for me. God says that His communication model is that we must be QUICK to listen to Him, SLOW to speak to ‘them’, and SLOW to get angry if they don’t understand.

That said, God cherishes conversations with us. I know this is true because the Holy Spirit guided me to Exodus 33:9-14 (NIV), which shares…
[9] As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the Lord spoke with Moses. [10] Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to their tent. [11] The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent. Lord [12] Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ [13] If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” [14] The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Notice the discussion between God and Moses.

That reminds me of an old James Cleveland song that says…

I had a talk with God last night
I cried Oh Lord please make things alright
He said He’d all my battles fight

I had a talk with God

Please call Him to guide me right
Let me find peace and a better life
He said He’ll make everything alright

I had a heart to heart talk with God last night

I cried Oh Lord my way is dark
I need Your light down in my heart
He said I’m God all by myself
If you trust me you don’t need no one else
I said Thank God for now I’m free

Thank you for giving me victory whenever I need Him

He’s so good to me
I had a heart to heart talk with God last night
A-men

Once again the Holy Spirit emphasized communication is about dictation, whereas conversation is about discussion.

How much more effective would our interactions be if we had more of a discussion tone than dictation, with God and others.

With our tone differentiation in mind, let’s read a familiar passage that we love to quote in times of stress. Philippians 4:5-7 (NIV)…
[5] Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. [6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Notice, there’s no aggression or dictation in Paul’s encouragement. Instead, we see a gentle engagement encouraged.

That makes me think of The Oak Ridge Boys singing…

… I may have doubts and fears
My eyes be filled with tears
But Jesus is a friend who watches day and night
I go to him in prayer
He knows my every care
And just a little talk with Jesus makes it right

… Now let us have a little talk with Jesus
Let us tell Him all about our troubles
He will hear our faintest cry
And He will answer by and by

… And when you feel a little prayer wheel turnin’
And you will know a little fire is burnin’
You will find a little talk with Jesus makes it right

The Holy Spirit is encouraging us to talk with God, and others, rather than about or to them. Let’s make conversations for understanding be our focus. And remember, God wants us to be QUICK to listen to Him, SLOW to speak to ‘them’, and SLOW to get angry if they don’t understand.

Today’s song is…
Speak To My Heart

Blessings 4HG (1 Corinthians 10:31)